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“Small Town Scandal” by Resia Nank receives a 5-star review from Jack Magnus of Reader’s Favorite!

Reviewed By Jack Magnus for Readers’ Favorite

Small Town Scandal: A Real Life Love Lesson is a non-fiction memoir written by Resia Nank. It was 1973, and Nank was a typical fourteen-year-old: filled with the excitement of crushing on teenage heartthrobs, thrilled with having her own slimline phone, and having a grand time riding her dirt bike on the trails near her home. Then, something momentous happened one day in late spring, when she noticed a moving van parked next door to her house and saw the hippie van parked in front of it. Her eyes bugged out at that painted van, but then she saw him. He was in his thirties, with long wavy hair and strong good looks, and she watched spellbound as he unloaded a large motorcycle from the truck. He introduced himself as Cookie, a friend of her stepfather, Robert. Nank was entranced by him, and the fact that he spoke to her as if they were on the same level made it even better. Soon the other girls in the neighborhood found out about the new guy in town, and they became non-stop visitors, earning some glares from Leona, his wife. But Cookie was Nank’s special friend, and he would become her first love and lifelong friend.

Resia Nank’s non-fiction memoir, Small Town Scandal: A Real Life Love Lesson, is a delight to read. Nank beautifully sets up her memory of life in the 1970s and the impact that the new neighbor had on her life. Her coming-of-age is filled with rushed assignations in the hippy van, stolen moments, and real affection as the two lovers get caught up in something larger than either of them. As I read this charming and sweet memoir, I realized that there might be some portions of the audience who would be offended by the idea of a fourteen-year-old having a relationship with a man eighteen years her senior. Considering the fact, however, that until recently girls of her age were considered mature enough to get married in many parts of this country, the age difference or her status as a minor did not seem to detract from the validity of her relationship or her memories as such. Nank’s story makes the point loudly and clearly that there was a strong and compelling romance shared by them. The ring episode is especially poignant and powerful, giving this modern-day Romeo and Juliet tale authenticity and depth. Small Town Scandal: A Real Life Love Lesson is most highly recommended.

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A Humorous Collection of Sayings—By Resia Nank


Were? – used interchangeably with and in place of Where?

Zinc – not the mineral, the basin in the kitchen or bathroom

Nekkid – naked

Purdy – pretty

Plat – braid

Pockeybook – purse

Step’n Fetch It – originally a derogatory phrase for a negro slave; now used to describe any person who is down on luck or does another’s bidding

Nicodemus – adjective referring to anything small

Chicken Neckin’ – catching blue crabs on lines tied to raw chicken necks


When the Eagle shits – when Social Security checks arrive each month

Tired as a dog – why dogs are tired is never explained

Raining like a cow pissin’ on a flat rock – a very hard rain

If a frog had wings he wouldn’t bump his ass – refers to something impossible

Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which fills up first – translation: “fat chance”

Squeeze a nickel until it shits in his hand – (refers to buffalo nickels) someone miserly

Run anything that moves – refers to a person who pursues the opposite sex relentlessly

Going to the Store – generic reference to grocery shopping

Fart Crossways – to be upset or angry with someone “she’s got a fart crossways”

Enough to make you smack your mother – something that is very good or tempting

Ugly as a picket fence, lie gap in his teeth – refers to teeth with gaps or that a person with a center gap is a liar

He/she could bite the bottom out of a teacup and never touch the sides – refers to a person with a large oval bucktoothed mouth.

I’d rather be a wart on a dog’s ass – referring to the desire to avoid something unpleasant

His ass would make her a Sunday face – comparative term of beauty or lack thereof between two people

Too lazy to scratch fire off his ass – a very lethargic, inactive person

Can’t plant a turnip and get a pumpkin – meaning you can’t expect a child not to resemble his or her parents (other iterations: the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree)

Belongs to the milkman – a child that looks nothing like either parent

Slow as molasses running uphill on a cold winter day – moving very slowly

Old as Methusela – Bible reference; a very old person

It’ll be a cold day in hell before I … – not likely to happen

Couldn’t please her if Jesus stood on his head and stacked beebees – a woman who is impossible to satisfy